Friday
Just one more letdown.
It's just another letdown, I'm surprised I'm still holding up. I'm out in troubled waters and it's getting worse. My boat is just a shady raft and someone's prying the boards from it quickly. These termites have started feasting and I can't stop the havoc below me.
Times change and tide rolls in. I had an army of friends but they were nothing more than a seasick mirage. Maybe I was stupid for falling for it but I don't want to be the lone and crazy sailor. No trust and no hopes, just a desire to be swallowed up by the sea painlessly.
But that's not me. I wave between the line of reserved and trusting. I love to pull my heart out and place it in another person's chest. But too often the rib cage is just a cold cage, and I made another mistake. I don't want to float alone but I can't stay dry on a paper boat.
The boards have rotted or broken off. I swam to shore and I'm burning the salvaged wood. I'll rebuild a stronger raft while praying for calmer waters. I won't drown. I won't letdown into this cold water.
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