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I like to lurk. It’s a known fact. Give me a name and the fucking continent and I can tell you where they were born and who they dated back in grade 8. I’m epic.
But while I lurk I read, and while I read I observe. And while I observe and criticize, and finally, once I criticize, I write notes.
Consistently through tween and teen age facebook profiles alike I see a simple statement appear in many different forms. It is usually the second or third line in that beautiful container known as “About Me”. It says “I am unlike anyone you have ever met”, “I am different or weird”, “I’m unique” or perhaps when I come across a particularly unfriendly person it says “you won’t like me because I am so different.”
I am here to discuss this lame, immature and downright pathetic attempt at differentiating ourselves from one another.
You and I are unlike anyone else we have ever met. Why? Because there’s only one of us! There isn’t a second one of me wandering aimlessly around, albeit if there was the population would be that bit more attractive. But because I’m a carbon based “snowflake”, unlike any others you haven’t met someone exactly like me, nor have I met someone exactly like you. So why state this? Do you think I’m not aware? Thank you for informing me, I’ll make a note.
You’re different, unique or, -giggle- weird? That’s fantastic. It blows my mind. Forever have I sought to find someone who is unique from the general human population! I mean, I am assuming when you say weird, different or unique you’re surely not implying the same as stating “[you’re] unlike anyone [I] have ever met”. We’ve been over this, it’s moronic and a pathetic attempt to differentiate yourself from the general population (what’s so bad about us anyway?). I have always wanted to meet someone who doesn’t bleed, doesn’t need to breathe or eat or sleep. I have always wanted to meet someone who possessed traits that are unique from that of a normal human. What’s that? Oh right, you shit too. So unique.
And no, I won’t like you, you told me not to.
I am so sick of reading lines that people have put thought into just to differentiate themselves from everyone else. Yes you’re different, we get that, but we don’t care. Do you have to cut yourself away from the proverbial paper lane of men, conjoined by hands? You have no reason to; you’re traced from the same copy. Before you feel the desire to slice our happy bonds, just ask yourself, what the fuck makes you so special?